New Blog

So, I just wanted to write one last time on this blog....Eric and I are officially married as of July 18 and we have a new blog together. You can continue reading at the following link: http://guthierak.blogspot.com/. Thanks!

Long Overdue Update

Wow, it's been a super long time since I wrote! Between my sister's wedding and mine, the time has simply been focused on nothing but those two events. Eric and I just got back Monday from an awesome 12 day vacation! I so needed to get out of Nome for a bit!!

We first stopped in Chesterton to go to my sister's wedding. It was a great wedding. I was slightly nervous because her and I had some pretty tense moments the beginning of this year and we weren't talking for a couple months. Seeing her helped relieve the tension on my end. I feel like things are back to normal again. The day before the wedding we went to get our nails done together and then went to her bridal luncheon. It was such a nice luncheon. We sat out in the sun, had delicious food, played games, and shared stories. The terrible thing was that all of us got sunburn and since I'm from Alaska, I got it the worst. I look so awesome in the wedding pictures:



As you can see, she was a beautiful bride! She and Paulo had a great wedding and seemed truly happy. I was glad to be a part of it!

The day after the wedding, Eric and I went to Ohio where our actual vacation started! The main reason I looked forward to this part of the trip is that I wanted to get to know his family better since they will soon be mine. We stayed with Eric's parents and his grandpa who was up visiting. His sister lived nearby so I got to see her several times. She also does hair professionally so she touched up my highlights, trimmed my hair, introduced me to the awesomeness that is a flat iron, and helped me come up with my wedding hairdo. Besides his immediate family, I also got to meet many of Eric's aunts, uncles, and cousins. Everyone was really nice and I was glad to meet them.

During our time in Ohio, we went to an Indians game with one of his friends, we did a lot of shopping, swam in the pool, I met some of his friends, and got the tour of his childhood. One of my favorite shopping expeditions was to Lehmans, which is a store that caters to the Amish. I had been shopping via catalog from them since January or February. Being able to visit the huge store, though, was way awesome! I was in heaven!

Also during that time, I met with an oral surgeon and a new dentist. We lined ourselves up two great dentists to help me with my implant the second time around. We start October with a bone graft! I have a good feeling this time around. They know what they are doing and are very nice people. Plus, my surgeon and my dentist are husband and wife so there will be no break down of communication!

Now, it's the countdown to the wedding: 22 days to be exact! I'm beyond wedding planning. I'm tired of it. This week I've taken to emailing Eric about anything wedding related so that we don't have to spend every moment together talking about it. I've reached the point that if the wedding crashes and burns, I don't care as long as our vows are exchanged and we are married. I'll be very excited to see people and be married. The details of the day don't matter to me! I've got good friends helping me out and whatever happens, happens!

Tomorrow is my bridal shower, though, which I'm really looking forward to. I think it'll be fun. It'll at least be nice to have girl time together with some friends in town!

Here's hoping 3 weeks comes pretty quickly!

Green Cleaning Is the Way For Me

Words cannot properly express how much I needed a 3 day weekend. This month my stress limits were pushed higher than they have been in many, many years.

This past week, I officially had my first panic attack in regards to the wedding. It lasted about 48 hours and all I could think about was how I would never get everything done in time. I didn't know how to begin planning the bonfire the night before the wedding, who to ask for housing some of our friends, and who to help with cooking turkeys and hams. I'm not good at asking for help and I don't want to impose my wedding on other people. It seemed like such a daunting task and I knew I was driving Eric crazy. He was good, though, and helped talk me through it. I suspect it won't be the last panic attack I have between now and the wedding but I just have to remember that I'm not stressing about the important things. Most people won't remember all the little details that I'm concerned about.

So this weekend, I tried to take a break from the wedding and just relax...sort of. For the past month or so, I've been reading about green cleaning. I've resisted green cleaning because I didn't quite understand it. As I read more, I learned that it's about not just using environmentally friendly products but that it's about cleansing your home and yourself from the harsh chemicals used in everyday household products. Me, being an all-or-nothing sort of girl, totally LOVED the idea of green cleaning. I mean if I'm cleansing my body of sugars and unhealthy fats, why would I use products that release toxins on the surfaces and into the air where I live? So I took my new interest to the extreme and got rid of all my bleach, all-purpose cleaners, Scrubbing Bubbles, Windex, etc. I spent the weekend in the kitchen cooking up new green cleaning products and testing them out all around the house.

I started with an air freshener. I took several drops of orange, lavender, and eucalyptus essential oils and mixed them with 1 cup of water for an all-natural, summery scented, homemade version of Febreze.

Another air freshener that I really liked was to simply put 5 cinnamon sticks into simmering water on the stove. Our house smelled so delicious!

Then I made a homemade mold and mildew cleaner: vinegar in a glass bottle with copper wire. It sits for 2 days and then you just spray it where you want to kill mold and mildew. No rinsing or anything.

Instead of Pledge or Endust, I made my own duster: water, vinegar, and a few drops of essential oils.

I made my own Windex too. I first had to use vinegar, water, essential oils, and a little bit of dish soap. It removes the waxy buildup that you get from products like Windex. The next time I'll only have to use vinegar.

I have my own all purpose cleaner: First spray vinegar on the surface, then some hydrogen peroxide to neutralize the smell, then wipe up with a rag.

I have an entire book with recipes and ways to start thinking greener. No more chemicals for me! It's so exciting and fun!

I must be a huge nerd. Who gets relaxed from and has fun cleaning?

It's Over!

Graduation is over...yippee! It went so well. I was so happy. And my wedding dress is in Wasilla...I have my fitting Wednesday! Now I sleep....aaahhhh....

So Stressed

That is an understatement. I'm stressed at new levels I've never experienced, in the form of heart palpitations. Usually my eye just twitches and I get really grumpy when I'm stressed. I don't actually feel all that stressed except that last Thursday I started getting these flutters in my chest.

First I thought it was my imagination. Then I thought it was a pulled muscle or something. Yesterday it got so frequent that I nearly went to the doctor. I was scared because I've never had anything like this and I am a very healthy person.

Last night, though, I identified the problem...it has to be stress. I was working on a grant for the fire department with one of my friends when our pager went off for a house fire. The entire drive over there, the flutters were strong and consistent.

In my life right now, I'm dealing with planning and coordinating graduation for the first time on campus....and it's now 2 days away. I have my sister's wedding coming up, in which I am the maid of honor. As of yet, I have not seen my dress, even though I ordered it in late October! I have my own wedding dress that doesn't ship until May 22 and I have to figure out how to get down there to get fitted and any alterations. Plus, I'm trying to plan and coordinate a huge wedding, which is pretty stressful and will result in a mega life change. So yeah, I finally have admitted to myself that there is a lot of stress in my life.

Another possibility that we have narrowed the cause down to is stevia. I have made a huge change by giving up sugar and am trying new, natural sweeteners. Eric told me his cousin was having unexplained seizures and it was because of his reaction to Nutrasweet. The difference between Nutrasweet and stevia is that Nutrasweet is artificial while stevia is natural. I really hope that stevia is not the cause because I like it and it's natural. But in case it is, I am laying off it for a while until my stress levels are down. Today instead of stevia, I tried agave nectar as the sweetener in my oatmeal. It's really good. I loved it! Very tasty. I'll have to learn how to cook with it more, besides just oatmeal. But when I am in Anchorage next week, I am going to find natural sweetener cookbooks. When I was in Anchorage 2 weeks ago, I ordered and sugar free cooking book from Barnes and Noble but it ended up only using Splenda, which is an artificial sweetener and something that I am trying to avoid.

I also think that while I am in Anchorage I have earned myself a massage and will make that a top priority. After all, I am spending my birthday alone in the big city and it'll be a great way to destress. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can get an appointment!

Stevia for the First Time

I ate stevia yesterday for the first time...and today for the second time. It's really good. You can't tell at all that there isn't sugar in it. As a kid, my mom would serve me healthy alternatives and they always tasted disgusting. Most of it was probably because I just wanted to be a normal kid who ate Little Debbie and potato chips. But now that I actually want to eat healthy, the healthy alternatives taste really good.

These past two days, I have replaced the brown sugar in my oatmeal with stevia. Instead of 1/2 Tbsp of brown sugar, I only need 1/4 tsp of stevia for the same sweetness. It's incredible! Tonight I'm going to stir fry and replace the sugar in the homemade sauce with stevia.

I also have that stevia baking blend with extra fiber. I have mangoes that I want to use up so I'm going to make whole wheat, sugar free mango bread with the stevia baking blend. I think it's going to be delicious.

The down side is that stevia is really expensive...at least to bake with. It's a great replacement if you are going to substitute it for a couple tablespoons of sugar but when starting talking about replacing it by the cups, it gets pricey. I don't know what to do about that. I wish I could buy it in bulk...like the 10 pound sugar bags. But oh well, I'll take what I can get!

A Weekend Away From Home

I feel like April 17 is 2 weeks away. It has been an intense and enlightening couple of days.

Eric and I spent the weekend at Engaged Encounter in Fairbanks. I thought it was going to be fun...sitting around talking about our future and how things will be once we are married. 'Fun' is definitely not the right word. It was very good, though. I left with a greater appreciation for marriage and for Eric. A typical hour went something like this: 20 minutes of a presentation from the priest and a married couple, 20 minutes alone to answer questions based on the topic presented, and 20 minutes sharing our answers between Eric and I. We did this from 7-11pm on Friday, 8:30am-6pm on Saturday, and 9am-2:20pm on Sunday. It got exhausting but Eric and I were able to delve deeper into the issues that we disagree on. I would recommend this program to anyone who is getting married. I think it is a really great step in preparation and was well worth the time and energy.

One of the things I learned this weekend was that Eric gets exhausted with my schedule. He gets exhausted dealing with my burnt out and overextension from not saying no and he gets burnt out when I drag him into my activities. It's making me think really hard about my activities and how I will get my own time along with our couple time once we are married. I think I'm going to be cutting activities that were once really important to me but aren't as much now that I have a marriage to focus on. I think it's going to be surprising and I'm thinking long and hard before I act but I think I will be stepping down from many of my volunteer activities and leadership positions. I'm tired just thinking about how to balance my activities with my alone time with time I spend with Eric.

Another great thing about this weekend is that I think we found a priest for our wedding. It's been difficult wondering who is going to marry us since our church is without a priest. We had two priests involved with our Engaged Encounter. Father Jerry, who is the chaplain at UAF, was the first to voice his interest in coming to Nome. And Father Ross, who used to be a KNOM volunteer and also helped out with the weekend, also voiced his interest. We have put in a petition with the bishop. Either of them would be nice because we have some sort of personal relationship with them after this weekend.

Well I was gone, I also discovered some awesome products to keep me on track with a low/no sugar diet that minimizes high glycemic foods. First off, I found Stevia. Two types. One is just straight up Stevia, which I will use to sweeten things like my oatmeal. Then I bought a Stevia baking blend, which I want to incorporate into my baking. Lastly, I found some agave syrup, which I hope to experiment with. I also replaced all my white floured pastas by stocking up on tons of whole wheat pasta. And I got arrowroot to use as a thickener over cornstarch.

I'm getting past my sugar cravings. It's a lot easier than it was last week. I think this is a lifestyle change that will stick with me for a long time! I'm very pleased that I have attempted this challenge I put myself up to.